Patience or trust?

I had a conversation a while ago with a woman who had the following question:

I want to get married and have children, but I feel like God is taking too long.

Well… what do you say then? What she mentioned was that everyone at church kept telling her to be patient, and that didn’t help. On the contrary, it just made her angry. She couldn’t do anything with the “have patience” advice. And honestly… I totally get that.

Because let’s be real, if I were to say to her, “just be patient,” I’d also be implying, “you will definitely get married and have kids in the future, if you just wait.” And that’s dishonest because I don’t know that. It’s entirely possible that won’t happen. And there you are, with your packaged false promises and “patience.” So, what do you say then? What if she never gets married and never has children? What then?

It comes down to the fact that it’s NOT about having patience to get married and have children, but about trusting that God has the best plan for you, for His glory. (And not necessarily for your need, pleasure, desire, etc.) If you have that trust in God, all other questions become a “detail.” And yes, we understand that this is very (!!) complicated, but let’s be honest… is “have patience” or “it’ll be okay” an honest answer? It’s an easy answer because it gets you quickly out of the conversation… but it doesn’t help.

Would you, as the one answering such a question, have the courage and patience to really dig into that question?

Yes, it takes time, but it leads to a real conversation instead of just a “brush-off.”