When Everything Seems Dark: Finding a Way Out of the Devilish Cycle
A “Teufelskreis” is a German word that literally means “devil’s circle” or “devilish cycle.”
In English, it usually refers to what we call:
* a vicious cycle
* a downward spiral
It describes a situation in which cause and effect keep reinforcing one another, making it increasingly difficult to escape. And the name, “devilish cycle,” fits.
In our work, we regularly meet people for whom nothing is ever right anymore. They complain about everything, everything is negative, nothing is good enough. We often hear statements like: no one talks to me and I am so lonely. For us, these are difficult and emotionally draining conversations. We are often exhausted after such an encounter, if you can even call it a conversation.
That is the “devilish cycle”:
* Your world has turned dark, for whatever painful reason.
* Because of that, you complain all day about everyone and everything.
* People grow tired of it and begin to withdraw.
* Then you have one more thing to complain about.
* You become lonelier and your world grows even darker, causing you to complain even more.
* Until eventually no one is left and everything seems black…
The fact that the world first became dark often has a cause that was completely outside your control. Death, loss in whatever form, grief. Name it. It happened without being your fault. It happened to you, and it hurts. You were the victim, and you cannot be blamed for that. On the contrary, what happened is deeply and painfully tragic.
After that comes a critical phase. How will you deal with that initial sorrow? Your world has collapsed. It is no longer white, but now covered with black stains. Those black stains are real; they are there. But how will you respond to them?
If you are not careful and give those dark stains more space than they deserve, they slowly begin to push out all the white. That is how you can end up in that devilish cycle. The longer you allow the darkness to push out the light, the harder it becomes to escape. And somewhere in that process of the downward spiral there is a choice. Will I go along with this, or will I stop and fight against the current?
There truly is a moment when you both see and feel that choice. This is the moment. If I continue now, everything will become dark. I have a choice right now. It will cost me an enormous amount of energy, but this is the moment.
If, with the last bit of strength you have left, you choose to swim against the current (with whatever necessary help you may need), then you will get out. It will cost you greatly, but step by step, through many struggles, you truly can come through it.
But if you do not make that choice in that moment, then the question is whether such a moment will return. And if it does return, you will have to climb out from an even deeper place. That requires far more energy.
But even then, there is hope.
“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS.” — Matthew 11:28–29 (NASB)
To escape that devilish cycle, you need God. Because from a human perspective, you may actually be completely right that everything is dark.
Whether or not you listen to God’s invitation is your choice. That is not a choice we can make for you. What we must choose, however, is whether we will also join you in your dark cycle or not. That may mean we also have to say: at this moment, the choice lies with you. Right now. Will you swim against the devilish cycle, or will you surrender to it? Because otherwise, we can no longer continue going along with it either.
That is a difficult and deeply painful moment. But we, too, must guard our own well-being. We also have a choice. Do we continue downward into the darkness together with you, or do we say no to the devilish cycle now?
Complicated choices for both sides, sometimes with serious consequences if we continue down the road we are currently on.
Perhaps you are in such a devilish cycle right now. Then pause for a moment and make a choice. That choice lies with you now. Afterward, we would gladly help you take the next steps upward, back toward the light. But that first step, that first choice, is yours. Right now.
