Do I choose Jesus or does He invite? We notice the difference in how people handle adversity.
In our work, during coaching, counseling, and therapy sessions, a striking pattern stands out to us. When we look at how people deal with hardships such as illness, loss of employment, war, or grief, we see three groups.
- People who understand that God calls and that their only task was to obey Him. They did not need to do any more than that.
- People who took the initiative themselves to “ask Jesus into their heart.”
- Non-Christians.
The misery people find themselves in is often exactly the same. War remains war, loss remains loss, illness remains illness. The world we live in is the same for all three groups.
But in how they handle adversity….
- The difference between group 1 and 2 might initially seem small, until we look at how they handle problems. Then the difference becomes enormous.
- In fact, it is striking: group 2 and 3 often look very much alike in their way of dealing with adversity, and that is concerning.
At first glance, group 2, who once “asked Jesus into their heart,” looks nothing like group 3, the unbelievers. But how is it then that their reactions to problems are so similar? In conversations and observations, we notice that their behavior and attitude in difficult circumstances often look as alike as two peas in a pod. As soon as the storms of life arrive—loss, illness, grief, or other setbacks—group 2 often collapses just as quickly as group 3. Panic sets in rapidly. The foundation upon which their security rests then proves not to be solid: their faith depends on their own action, their own moment of decision, or their feelings, rather than on God’s sovereignty and initiative.
We notice in our practice that this difference becomes directly visible when we explain that it works the other way around. God invites you, not you Him. As soon as someone truly understands this, we see the tension drop away and an inner peace appear that is almost indescribable. The difference is then like day and night! This peace is independent of circumstances or performance, because it is based on the realization that God has taken the initiative and that salvation is a work of His.
Until this understanding sinks in for group 2, the restlessness remains. It sometimes feels as though their ears are closed to this message.
The Bible supports this distinction. John 6:44 says:
“No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise him up on the last day.”
Faith therefore does not originate from our action, but from God’s work. Romans 9:16 emphasizes this once again:
“So then it does not depend on the man who wills or the man who runs, but on God who has mercy.”
John 10:28–29 shows where the peace of group 1 comes from:
“and I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand. My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand.”
In our coaching, counseling, and therapy groups, we notice time and time again that whoever understands this experiences a remarkable(!) stability, even in the heaviest of circumstances. On the other hand, whoever believed that salvation depended on their own action remains uncertain and tense. This difference is not a theoretical point, but a directly noticeable effect that we genuinely see in how people live, feel, and react to adversity. Quite striking.
The realization that God chooses who gets to sit at His table and that we may accept His invitation liberates them from the feeling that we have to do it ourselves. It is not a one-time assignment or a performance, but a continuous trust in God who calls, draws, and holds fast. And even that trust does not come from themselves, but they indicate that even that trust comes from God, “for He has called me and not I Him.”
In our practice, it strikes us time and time again that group 1 is truly remarkably(!) calm, even in the hardest of circumstances.
Group 2, who once “asked Jesus into their heart,” and group 3, the unbelievers, often look strikingly alike in this regard. That is a tense and sometimes confrontational realization for us, because theologically that difference really ought to be there.
It shows how important the foundation is: if it rests on one’s own action, moment, or feeling (“I invite Jesus”), it collapses quickly as soon as life becomes difficult. If it rests on God’s call (“He invites you”), it remains steadfast regardless of the circumstances, as Jesus says about the house on the rock and the house on the sand:
“Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock. Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and it fell—and great was its fall.” (Matthew 7:24–27)
