Counting stress points. How many do you have?

During our work, we sometimes use a “stress points list” to help someone gain insight into why it’s not so strange that they don’t feel well. We also use this list to show them that, despite the challenges they’ve faced, they’re actually doing well considering the burden they’ve “accumulated” over the past year. It gives them some insight into the “why” behind what their body is doing and what we can do about it (or not).

You start each year with 0 points, and you’re completely stress-free. But, like everyone, you go through experiences that cause you stress. These can be simple things (traffic fines are annoying, your favorite flavor of custard is sold out), and you may not even notice them. That’s correct, because each year you’re allowed to collect about 120 “stress points.” This doesn’t mean there’s no stress, but it’s a level that most people can handle without serious health problems. Good self-care, support, and recovery time are still important. Positive things also earn you points: marriage, switching sports clubs—these are all positive, but they still add points. If you accumulate too many points in a year, it could go wrong…

If you end up with more than 120 stress points in a year, you risk serious health problems. These stress points are officially called Life Change Units (LCUs). Your target is 120, but what happens if you exceed that?

• 0 – 149 LCUs → Low risk (small chance of stress-related issues)
• 150 – 299 LCUs → Moderate risk (approximately 50% chance of health problems)
• 300+ LCUs → High risk (approximately 80% chance of stress-related issues, such as burnout, insomnia, depression, or physical illnesses)

These numbers weren’t made up by us; they come from the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale (also known as the Social Readjustment Rating Scale). Let’s take a look at what counts as “stress points” and how much each “thing” costs.

The traffic fine from the example is 11 points. (We’ll show you the entire list in a moment) and falls under the category of “Minor legal violations.” This is a relatively low stress factor, but in combination with other stressful events, it can contribute to a higher total score.

Now, let’s add the custard situation (your favorite custard pack is sold out). This doesn’t fall under the major life changes that count towards LCUs. But… let’s give that custard pack 1 point. It’s nothing really, tomorrow’s a new day… And yes, 1 point for a custard pack might be over the top, so let’s give it half a point… or a quarter… hardly anything.

A few years ago, we had a client going through a divorce. A divorce equals 73 points, and according to this explanation, 73 points is no big deal, right? Well, no… because the divorce doesn’t happen without issues. Somewhere there are problems with the (now ex-)partner (35), which now also need to be legally sorted out (38). Someone needs to move (20), someone might need to sell their house (25), buy or rent a new one (31), which brings financial worries (38), and what about the children who aren’t happy with the whole situation? (15).

This person was ashamed that it affected him so much, that he was so tired, that he exploded over “nothing,” and also because he now needed spiritual help. After all, he wasn’t a “wimp”! And that’s when the list came out to provide insight, showing that asking for help is far from “wimp behavior.”

• Divorce – 73
• Selling a house – 25
• Buying a new house – 31
• Issues with the children – 15
• Moving – 20
• Financial worries due to the divorce – 38
• Problems with the ex-partner – 35
• Legal procedures – 38

Total score: 275. Oops. This is just below 300 and remains within the moderate risk category (150 – 299 LCUs), but the risk of health problems has now become very high. It’s not strange that you’re tired, easily irritated, and that things are slipping through your fingers… Because we’re not done yet with this client… If additional stress factors come into play, such as job loss, health problems, or a new relationship that’s not going well, the score could rise above 300, meaning there’s an 80% chance of stress-related issues. Wow! That escalated quickly!

And then you might reach the point… where the custard pack that’s missing suddenly makes you burst into tears in the store. That custard pack is “nothing,” but suddenly, it’s everything! And it pushes you over the edge… so it’s not strange that you were crying in the supermarket.

So, if you’re thinking: Why am I suddenly swaying on my feet over a pack of custard? It might be time to tally your points and realize that it’s completely normal to seek the help you truly need…

Below is the list of “stress points”:

Top Stressful Events
Death of a spouse – 100
Divorce – 73
Separation from partner – 65
Imprisonment – 63
Death of a close family member – 63
Serious personal injury or illness – 53
Marriage – 50
Dismissal – 47
Marriage reconciliation – 45
Retirement – 45

Other Stressful Events
Change in health of a family member – 44
Pregnancy – 40
Sexual problems – 39
New family members (birth, adoption, etc.) – 39
Business changes – 39
Financial problems – 38
Death of a close friend – 37
Change of occupation – 36
Marital problems – 35
Mortgage or loan over €50,000 – 31
Mortgage or loan problems – 30
Change in responsibilities at work – 29
Child leaving home (due to marriage, studies, etc.) – 29
Problem with in-laws – 29
Major personal achievements – 28
Partner stops working – 26
Starting or stopping school – 26
Change in living conditions – 25
Change in personal habits – 24
Conflict with boss – 23
Change in work hours or conditions – 20
Change in residence – 20
Change in school – 20
Change in recreational activities – 19
Change in church activities – 19
Change in social activities – 18
Minor mortgage or loan – 17
Change in sleep pattern – 16
Change in number of family gatherings – 15
Change in eating habits – 15
Minor legal violation (e.g., traffic fine) – 11

And now, to wrap up… perhaps you’ve been keeping track and you might be thinking, “Wow, I didn’t expect that!” Well…

The average number of points per year for an average person (target = 120) depends on life stage and circumstances, but studies suggest that most people score between 150 and 250 points annually. This means that many people, and perhaps more than you think… are already in the moderate risk category, where there’s approximately a 50% chance of stress-related health issues.

• Young adults (18-30 years): Often higher due to study, first job, relationships, moving, financial uncertainty.
• Middle-aged adults (30-50 years): Can peak due to marriage, children, career, buying a house, loss of parents.
• Older adults (50+ years): Usually more stable, but can increase due to retirement, health problems, or the loss of loved ones.

And you as the reader? How are you doing? Honestly, it’s not strange if you need help and seek it. Don’t hesitate—feel free to call, email, or write…