You are not allowed to do that! Or…

A while ago, I had a pleasant conversation with a hobby colleague. He is not a Christian, but we share the same hobby (model trains…), and it was really enjoyable. Our discussions covered a wide range of topics, including some rather challenging subjects. He also asked me questions about how I viewed ethical issues, and I responded not with my opinion but with what the Bible says about such (incredibly complicated) matters.

I indicated that I found some of those questions quite complex as a human being, but, well… if the Bible says A, then I do A. No matter how complicated it sometimes is, and how little I may understand at times. I am not all-knowing, I am not God, I am not perfect, but God is, and His word is too. So, I trust in God, even when I don’t understand things. And what my hobby colleague thought about it was fine with me. He is not a Christian; it’s his opinion, so who am I to judge his views?

Now accept the one who is weak in faith, but not to have quarrels over opinions. (Romans 14:1)

And not judging (to a non-Christian) works. It creates a lot of space in a conversation, keeping it friendly and enjoyable. You’re exchanging ideas and learning from each other. He also literally expressed this:

I can’t remember ever having a conversation about ‘faith’ that was this enjoyable. You give me all the space, are very clear, and I don’t feel any judgment, which I have always experienced in all my other conversations about ‘faith.’ Those discussions were anything but pleasant, and I felt unheard, yet incredibly judged, as if I was bad and you were always good. What a great conversation this is; we should do it more often!

Why this approach? Very simple, Romans 14:1 is clear, and 1 Corinthians 5:12 is also very clear about it:

For what business of mine is it to judge outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church? (1 Corinthians 5:12)

In other words, it’s not my place to have any judgment about what a non-Christian does. Because if we do that, we are not only acting unbiblical, but we are also closing doors that we want to keep open.

The only thing I can and must do is explain how I deal with (in this example) ethical issues, and on what basis I do so. I can also make it clear that I certainly do not judge them, but I do believe that God does, and I also believe in the consequences that are attached to that.

but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, but with gentleness and respect; (1 Peter 3:15)

If I had had the same conversation with a Christian, it would have been a completely different discussion (see Matthew 18:9-13), because different rules apply in that case.

But in this instance? No judgment, no ‘yes, but I think,’ nothing. And that led to a wonderful conversation that we both enjoyed. By the way, model trains are a beautiful hobby.