Which church is good for me? No church is perfect…

Leestijd / Lesezeit / Reading time: 7 min

When we speak with people about who God, Christ, and the Holy Spirit are, we are asked several times a month the following question:

Which good church could I attend to learn more about such matters, one that suits me well?

Why this question is not easy to answer

This is a question we cannot answer directly. Why not?

Let us begin with the following statement:

“The church is not a display of saints, but a place of healing for sinners.”

The perfect church does not exist

Let us be honest: there is truth in that. In Romans 3:23 it is stated clearly:

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

There are no perfect people in any church—quite the opposite. Charles Spurgeon said the following about this:

If I had never joined a church until I had found a perfect one, I would never have joined one at all; and if I had ever found the perfect church, I would have ruined it, for it would not be a perfect church after I had become a member of it.

What a “good” church is, therefore, is already a difficult question. Churches consist of sinners, including you and me. Where there are sinners, there is no perfection. The perfect church does not exist.

It is not about what suits you

Then there is the second part of the question: a church that suits you well. Here a problem arises. It is not primarily about which church suits you, but about a church that does what God says and teaches you accordingly.

What suits you can be a trap. Suppose I live in sin—would I then look for a church that affirms that? That cannot be the intention. If you are seeking a church, you should instead find a place that points out what is not right, so that you may increasingly live as God requires of us:

“but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior; because it is written: ‘YOU SHALL BE HOLY, FOR I AM HOLY.'” (1 Peter 1:15–16)

Why gathering together is necessary

This may not immediately sound hopeful. You might think: then I simply will not go to church anymore—I am the church myself. But that is incorrect and unbiblical. Why is it important to gather together as Christians?

“and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.” (Hebrews 10:24–25)

We gather to encourage one another and to stimulate one another to love and good deeds. One another. This cannot be done alone. We need each other. The world around us is often anything but encouraging, and that is precisely why this mutual support is so important.

Sharpening and encouraging one another

Additionally, we must urge one another toward a life of love and good deeds. This is not done alone, but together. The Bible says:

“Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17)

We need one another to remain sharp. If you stay away because there is no perfect church, you are actually saying that you do not need others. But:

“The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you’…” (1 Corinthians 12:21)

What a church must meet

Gathering together is therefore not optional, but necessary. And we already see something of what a church must be: a place where you learn to live more according to God’s will.

But it does not end there. A church must also meet what the Bible teaches:

I am writing these things to you, hoping to come to you before long; but in case I am delayed, I write so that you will know how one ought to conduct himself in the household of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and support of the truth. (1 Timothy 3:14–15)

Leaders and sound doctrine

The leaders in the church must also meet certain requirements:

holding fast the faithful word which is in accordance with the teaching, so that he will be able both to exhort in sound doctrine and to refute those who contradict. (Titus 1:9)

Test everything

Therefore, you must test for yourself:

“Do not quench the Spirit; do not despise prophetic utterances. But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; abstain from every form of evil.” (1 Thessalonians 5:19–22)

Practical tip: look behind the scenes

A practical tip in your search: if possible, visit a congregational meeting, a Bible study, or a prayer meeting before joining a church.

It is often during such moments that you see how a church truly functions. In a Sunday gathering, much may appear orderly and well-organized, but during a meeting, Bible study, or prayer gathering, it becomes clear how people interact with one another. Is there room for questions? Are people listened to? And how do they respond when someone has a different opinion?

This is important, because in a healthy church there is room to study the Bible together and to pray together. Not everyone must immediately see everything the same way, but the way differences are handled says much. Is correction given calmly from Scripture, or is someone quickly dismissed? And what happens if someone holds a view that proves to be unbiblical?

A prayer meeting is also a good moment to observe. What do people pray for? Is it only about personal wishes and desires, or is there also an emphasis on repentance, sanctification, forgiveness, and seeking the will of God? Is the prayer mainly “God must give me what I want,” or is there also an attitude of surrender: “Your will be done”?

It is precisely there that you often see something of the spiritual tone of a church. Prayer reveals what lives in the heart of a church.

This may sound somewhat sharp, but it helps you gain an honest picture. Where people are, sin also comes to the surface—especially in moments of conversation, tension, and prayer. That is not necessarily a reason to walk away, but it does show how a church deals with it.

Therefore, do not only look at what is said from the pulpit, but also at how people interact in conversations, Bible studies, meetings, and times of prayer. There you often see whether the Word is truly being lived out.

The church is more than watching online

An online church cannot fully replace the physical gathering. Church is not only about listening, but also about living together, encouraging one another, and serving one another.

Encouragement in the Bible is mutual. It is not only about hearing, but also about seeing, speaking, being present, and truly building one another up in the faith. This is difficult to replace through a screen.

A digital “like” or heart may be a sign of involvement, but it is not the same as real fellowship and personal exhortation in the daily life of a church.

Therefore, watching online can be a good temporary solution, for example in times of illness or practical circumstances. But it cannot and must not replace the gathering of believers.

As much as possible, therefore, seek the physical gathering of the church, where you learn together, pray, and can truly encourage one another.

Denominations do not say everything

The honest answer is that this varies greatly. A Reformed church in America can be very different from one in the Netherlands. The same applies to Baptist churches, evangelical churches, or other denominations. The name on the door says little. What actually happens inside is what matters.

A church changes

A church changes. It is not a static building, but a living community. Where people are, there is movement.

Testing does not stop after your choice

But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good. (1 Thessalonians 5:21)

Testing does not stop at the moment you have found a church. It remains something you must continue to do as a Christian. A church is not a static building, but a living community of people. And where people are, there is movement and change.

This means that a church can change over time. What appears faithful to the Bible today may gradually shift if God’s Word is no longer held fast. Therefore, it remains important to continue testing together whether what is taught and practiced is still in accordance with Scripture.

This testing also has consequences. First, there is the calling to work together with others toward restoration and to hold fast to the truth together. But if that is not possible and a church structurally deviates from the Bible, it may become necessary to move on and seek another church.

This is not a light decision, nor a choice based on preference or taste. It is not about what you find pleasant, but about remaining faithful to God’s truth. Sometimes this means taking a painful step, precisely because you desire to follow Him.

Therefore, this process never truly stops. Continue testing, continue praying, and continue seeking faithfulness to God’s Word, even after you have joined a church.

Finally

Come, rise, and seek. Now. Do not remain standing alone on the sidelines. God desires to see you in His house, so that you may be encouraged and, in turn, encourage others. The world is already challenging enough; we need one another to remain sharp, to persevere, and to grow together in holiness.

Do not expect to find the perfect church, for it does not exist, but seek the place where the Word is proclaimed purely and where sinners together place their hope in Christ. See you in the assembly.