I must…

Today in the therapy group, we reflect on what we think about ourselves and what we think others think of us. Sounds familiar? How often do you think ‘I have to…’ or ‘I must…’.

We start by answering 3 questions:
– I have to be
– I want to be
– I am …

The last question is about who you are without “wanting and having to”. If you take that away, what is left?
“Wanting to be” and “having to be” is like putting on a coat that makes you look different.

Today this is done very practically using a paper doll:
The doll itself represents who you are without “having to and wanting to”. This can be abstract or symbolic, whatever suits you. Then you create a set of clothes that match the answers to the question: “I have to be”…. And another set of clothes that match the answers to the question: “I want to be”….

One of the clients says: it’s as if I hear my grandmother and mother saying it to me!
They get to work – each in their own way.

A great way to become aware of who you are and who you expect of yourself to be.

How about you? Have you set demands for yourself? Do you have to be “so-and-so”? Or would you like to be different than you are? And is that fair to ask of yourself?

Questions to pause and think about…