For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them?

Anyone who regularly “sits” in a church knows the following saying:

For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.

Matthew 18:20

This is (sadly) often mentioned when hardly anyone has shown up for the Bible study, the church is more empty than full, and we are actually not that happy that not that many people showed up. It is then used as a kind of “encouragement”: “it’s okay, God blesses us when we are only together with just a few people”.

However…. there’s just something wrong with using that verse in that context… something VERY wrong… let me first try to explain it with some biblical examples:

After he (Jesus) had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone,

Matthew 14:23

While he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep. All at once an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.” He looked around, and there by his head was some bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again. The angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God.

1 Kings 19:4-8

If you look through the Bible, there are MANY Bible verses where people were alone and prayed to God, worshiped Him, talked to Him, and received answers from Him. Not two or three before God was in their midst.

These people were alone… one, one person and… God was there. Because even if they were alone, they weren’t alone:

And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit,

Ephesians 1:13

Do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?

1 Corinthians 3:16

So to say that you need two or three (or more) people to come together and then God is there, that is incorrect
and not biblical. God hears every prayer and is with you even when you are alone. Thank God that He is!  The Spirit of God dwells in you! No 2 or 3 people needed for that.

So, what is that verse in Matthew 18:20 all about then???

Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’ And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector. “Assuredly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. “Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.”

Matthew 18:15-20

Ah! It’s about sin in the church and dealing with sin if you see your brother (or sister) sin. As you read and study through it all, you will see that it is to be used in that context (sin in the church) and NOT in another way.

If someone does something sinful, you don’t go straight to the pastor, no, you go to him first and start the conversation, if that worked: praise God.

If not, bring one or two others with you so that you have witnesses that the conversation took place in a Biblical way. No one can then say: “It didn’t happen / it didn’t happen that way,” because you can evidence through those other brothers who were also there. If that worked, praise God.

And only then, if they still don’t listen, only then (!) do you go to church with them, and then a third conversation follows. If that works, praise God.

If they don’t even want to listen after those three conversations, then you have to treat them like “a heathen and a tax collector”

What does the latter mean?

And whoever will not receive you nor hear your words, when you depart from that house or city, shake off the dust from your feet. Assuredly, I say to you, it will be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah in the day of judgment than for that city!

Matthew 10:14-15

And…

But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.

1 Corinthians 5:11

And that part also belongs to this Bible passage. If someone continues to live in sin, despite having been warned 3 times (in the Biblical way), contact is broken, and we are no longer in the same building and no longer even eat with such people.

And yes, that’s quite something: you are no longer welcome in my house and I will no longer come to your house for dinner.

But… if we don’t do that, the mess will only get much, much bigger. We see that on this side almost every week. Sin is not discussed, we “do something with a cloak of love” and there is no consequence of continuing with sin, even though you have been confronted about it several times. And with that, you allow sin to exist in your church and that sin continues and makes new victims, and new victims, and even more new victims…. That is why God is so clear in His Bible that that circle of sin must be broken.

It also sets a false example to others: you can just continue to sin… and that is not Biblical. There are several moments in the Bible when Jesus says to people: ‘Go and sin no more’. One is after Jesus healed the man at the pool of Bethesda (John 5:14) and the other is after He saved the woman caught in adultery from being stoned to death (John 8:11).

Sinning is not allowed. If you see your brother or sister doing that, you call them out on it. First face to face, then with witnesses, then with the church and if they still continue after that… then it is up to the church to close the door to the sinner.

That is the context of Matthew 18:20. And that context is quite tough. On the other hand… if you hear someone now say:

For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.

Matthew 18:20

Then you know that A, the context is probably wrong and B… let it be a reminder that you are never, ever alone. God’s Spirit is always in you, you don’t need several people for that. And that is wonderful to know.

Speaking of positive: let’s read one more verse before this well-known Bible passage, then we will fully understand the context:

What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish.

Matthew 18:12-14

God did not intend these lines (including verse 17) to make our lives miserable. He designed these rules to protect ourselves and other brothers and sisters from sin and the results of that sin, so that that any of these little ones should perish. Because that is the result of sin if we do not repent.

I repeat: God wants to protect you and wants you to help protect other Christians in His church so that none of these little ones are lost. That is what He asks of you and me. Beautiful right?!

Do it. From verse 14, all the way to verse 20.

Are we there, then? Well, almost… What we must remember to realize is that Matthew 18 is talking about sin. Not about “whether you like your brother or sister’s hair color.” Sin. So don’t misuse it for other purposes.

And finally: Verse 15 says that if someone does listen to the rebuke, “If he hears you, you have gained your brother. ” Tip and a must: check whether this is really the case. It is easy to say “that’s right, I will never do it again”, but to actually not do it anymore… that is (unfortunately) another issue… If the person does say that he or she has repented, but not doing so, there is still sin in God’s church. And that’s precisely what you want to prevent.

So check whether someone has really repented after that rebuke. How? Easy:

No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.

Luke 6:43-45

So, just saying “yes” verbally is not enough. Has that person’s behavior really changed? If so, “If he hears you, you have gained your brother.” If no: go back to the start and take the next step in the Divine step-by-step plan found in Matthew 18.

Oh, and could we please stop using Matthew 18:20 out of context, please? It’s not an encouragement when you use it when nobody shows up for the bible study. It’s pulling bible verses out of context, and we must not and can not do that. ( Deuteronomy 4:2 ) If we hear somebody using this verse out of context like this… it raises huge red flags for us. If a person pulls this verse out of context..a verse that is so easily explained in context, how about other verses that this person is using? Yep… red flag. So please, just don’t do it.