When “Keeping the Peace” Becomes a Danger in the Church

Leestijd / Lesezeit / Reading time: 6 min
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The Bible speaks remarkably often about unity within the church / congregation. At the same time, the same Bible also speaks about situations in which division becomes visible and even necessary in order to make spiritual discernment.

When one side of this tension is emphasized and the other is ignored, a biblical church culture no longer exists, but a distorted picture of what “love” and “unity” mean is created.


1. The call to unity is clear and powerful

Paul writes:

“Now I exhort you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all agree and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be made complete in the same mind and in the same judgment.”
(1 Corinthians 1:10 NASB)

And:

“being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”
(Ephesians 4:3 NASB)

These texts are clear. The church is called to unity, peace, and spiritual connectedness.

But these texts do not stand alone.


2. Paul also says something often ignored

In the same letter Paul writes:

“For there must also be factions among you, so that those who are approved may become evident among you.”
(1 Corinthians 11:19 NASB)

What? How does that work? First no division, and here it says it must exist? How should we understand this?

This verse is in the context of problems within the church, including inequality and abuse around the Lord’s Supper. Paul is not saying that division is the goal. But he does not deny that it can arise and that it reveals something.

It reveals what is truly in hearts and makes spiritual distinction visible.

In other words, not every unity is spiritually healthy and not every division is spiritually wrong.


3. When the balance shifts

The problem arises when one biblical line is made absolute and the other practically disappears.

If only 1 Corinthians 1:10 and Ephesians 4:3 remain active in the thinking of the church, but 1 Corinthians 11:19 has no place in practice, everything shifts.

Correction then quickly becomes division, testing becomes negativity, and truth becomes subordinate to harmony.

But the Bible does not know unity without truth.


4. What happens in a church

This is not theory. It is a pattern.

When the balance shifts, difficult conversations disappear. Correction is experienced as disruption of peace. And people who ask questions are viewed with suspicion.

Not because they are wrong, but because they make tension visible.

And right there a shift begins that is not immediately seen but builds over time.

Peace becomes more important than purity. Consensus more important than truth. And harmony more important than spiritual discernment.


5. The Bible also includes confronting correction

Paul is not gentle here:

“Those who continue in sin, rebuke in the presence of all, so that the rest also will be fearful of sinning.”
(1 Timothy 5:20 NASB)

“Remove the wicked man from among yourselves.”
(1 Corinthians 5:13 NASB)

This is not a side issue. This is church reality in the Bible.


6. The core: the Bible is never one sided

The tension is not unity or truth, peace or correction.

But always unity in truth, peace in holiness, love that also discerns.

When that is lost, “unity” becomes a word that no longer means what it means in the Bible.


7. What we see in practice

In our work as therapists and counselors we weekly meet people coming from church contexts where this pattern has played out. People who are not only hurt but also deeply confused about what has happened spiritually and relationally.

Often it involves situations where something went wrong, but within the church there was no space to name or examine it honestly. Instead the emphasis was placed on forgiveness, keeping peace, or not dividing. And this is where it goes wrong.

What we then see is not occasional but recurring and patterned.

People begin to doubt their own perception. Guilt shifts toward the one who names the pain. And victims start correcting themselves instead of addressing the injustice done to them.

And often they only arrive in counseling after they have long tried to resolve it within the church.

What comes into care is often painful. Not because people refuse to forgive, but because there has been no recognition, no justice, and no real restoration process.

And that leaves deeper traces than is often admitted.


8. A practical example (anonymized)

In our practice as therapists and counselors we regularly encounter people from church contexts where this tension becomes visible.

One example (anonymized) illustrates this clearly.

A church member entered into conflict with another member within the same church. At its core it involved behavior experienced as boundary crossing. When this was raised directly, the situation escalated quickly and the person who raised the concern was labeled as overly sensitive and too intense.

Because the conflict escalated, the pastor arranged a joint meeting.

In that meeting the focus quickly shifted. Instead of examining what had happened and addressing responsibility, the explanation moved toward misunderstanding and emotion. The person who had shown the behavior said it had been a bad day and was not meant that way.

At the same time it was emphasized that raising the issue had also caused pain because the other person felt confronted. The focus thus shifted away from the original harm to the impact of the conversation itself. In the end it was suggested that the person who had experienced harm should apologize because they were all part of the same church and shared the same goal.

For the affected person this felt like a reversal of responsibility. Not only was the original harm not acknowledged, but they were placed back in the position of having to justify themselves.

The situation was not resolved but deepened into confusion. What began as an attempt at restoration ended in additional harm for the one seeking justice.

In counseling this is not an exception but a recurring pattern when the pressure to preserve peace outweighs the need to name truth and responsibility clearly.


9. Conclusion

The Bible does not teach unity that avoids all tension. Nor division as a goal.

But this: unity without truth becomes empty and truth without unity becomes destructive.

1 Corinthians 1:10 and Ephesians 4:3 without 1 Corinthians 11:19 create a distorted picture of the church.

And this distortion is not theoretical.

It becomes visible in how the church handles truth, tension, and people who name pain.


10. Final word: a warning to church leaders

To those called to watch over the church, pastors, elders, leaders, and others

Do not underestimate how subtle this begins.

It does not begin with open rebellion or deliberate falsehood. It begins with something that sounds good: preserving peace, protecting people, avoiding tension.

But when peace becomes more important than truth and harmony more important than holiness, the foundation shifts without being immediately noticed.

Therefore be careful with a unity that leaves no room for 1 Corinthians 11:19. Because where spiritual discernment disappears, spiritual vigilance also disappears.

And where vigilance disappears, a church remains that may still look calm outwardly but becomes less and less able to discern what is from God and what is not.

And perhaps even more serious, such a culture does not hold everyone, but often pushes away those who are still sensitive to truth and justice. People who see injustice, name it, and cannot simply move past it without restoration.

Over time this can mean a church grows in numbers and outward calm but becomes spiritually thinner. Not because there are no people left, but because the people who carry the tension between truth and justice slowly disappear, sometimes visibly, often quietly.

And then something remains that is still called church outwardly, but where there is less and less space for the tension that the Bible itself holds between unity and truth. Is that still a church?

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