The sunglasses
Dear reader, maybe this message is especially for you, or maybe it’s for someone you know. We’re going to talk about the sunglasses. And to be honest, not the fun kind.
To keep things a bit light, I’ve added some photos of my own sunglasses—so feel free, even though this is a serious topic, to laugh really hard at my photo collection.
This is me. Fun, right? Well… yes and no. Even though this photo was taken in a silly mood and with a lot of joy, the photo itself (and I don’t think anyone noticed… I think…) was actually very serious.
Yes, the funny hat, the sunglasses, the contrast with the “blank expression” were all staged. Before the camera was on, we were cracking up, and after it was off, same thing. The photo was meant as humor—let me be clear about that.
De waarheid, die niemand door had (denk ik), is dat deze foto klopt. De buitenkant, zonnebril, Unox muts, was Absolutely funny.
But inside, at the moment this photo was taken… it was as dark as night. There was nothing left of joy or gladness. Nothing. I’ll leave the reasons aside for now, but “the candle was out.”
“There’s a light on, but nobody’s home.”
This is the story of the sunglasses.
To the outside world, it all looks fun and sunny, but on the inside, it’s anything but that.
You come across as happier than you really are.
Not just to others… but maybe also to yourself.
The reason you’re wearing that thing is actually pretty understandable. Something’s going wrong in your head, most of the time you have no idea what exactly, but you can feel it. But letting the outside world know? That’s a whole different thing!
Because what are you supposed to say to someone else?
You don’t even know yourself what’s wrong, so if someone starts asking questions, what do you say? No clue!
That glasses protects you (you think) against the angry outside world that you don’t understand right now, and they don’t understand you either (same, you think).
And let’s be honest… the outside world really just wants to see that you’re happy and that everything’s fine.
Because who wants to deal with someone who’s not happy?
And that’s where it goes wrong. Really wrong.
Because the world isn’t always fun, you can’t always laugh, sometimes it’s hard… or worse…
Let’s be honest about that too. (The sign in the photo says, in Dutch: “That smile suits you well.”)
So, that first pair of sunglasses can actually (temporarily) serve a good purpose: protecting you from a world full of false judgments, triggers, and fake expectations. But….
If you’re not VERY careful… you’ll lose yourself because of those sunglasses.
You pretend to be “someone else”… and you know it.
And because you know it, you lose even more of yourself and end up in a downward spiral.
Just like I did back then.
You’re, in a way, messing with your vision.
What started out well (protecting yourself temporarily from something) and was meant to be temporary, gets darker and darker, and instead of being temporary, it becomes almost permanent.
You’re no longer yourself and the world has no idea.
Who are you anymore?
And that realization… because sooner or later you realize what you’re doing… hurts a lot…
And if you’re not VERY careful…
Those sunglasses will get so dark… that even you won’t see it anymore…
Do you know those welding glasses? They definitely have a purpose at the right moment! If you don’t wear them while welding, your eyes get damaged, so at the right time, you really need them.
But if you wear them at the wrong time… or actually misuse them… they work against you.
You don’t see the sun anymore, it’s dark around you, who are you anymore with or without your glasses to begin wit? Lost.
(ps, I hope you can still laugh at my collection of glasses photos at this serious moment. #lol)
And then we come to this: what you see when you’re walking around with those dark welding or sunglasses on is not the truth.
The sun is definitely there, even if you don’t see it. Those sunglasses are telling you something that’s not true. You’re being fooled.
What maybe started as protection has turned against you, and now that you realize it, it hurts—a lot of pain… and you need to get rid of those sunglasses FAST. What you think you’re thinking isn’t the truth. Your eyes, your heart tell you the sun isn’t there, but the sun is there! To speak with the Bible::
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; Who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9)
Sounds bad, right? But if you understand how that bad pair of sunglasses works… then you also get that verse. Your heart tells you little lies, and not just a few.
The sun is there! The Son (Jesus) is there too. And whether you believe in that Son or not, you get the story of the sun, right?
That sun, which your mind might now think isn’t there, that sun is there!
That sun, no matter what you do or think, rises every day! Every morning!
But yeah… those glasses…
In other words, what you believe (the moment you’re wearing those DARK sunglasses) isn’t true. Your eyes and your heart are deceiving you right now.
The moment you realize your glasses / heart are lying to you… you can start slowly taking those glasses off.
And that’s pretty scary. “Been there, done that.”
Realizing that your own eyes and heart aren’t right… that’s a tough one too.
But once you get that… you start winning the battle! And that’s actually a beautiful moment!
No matter how painful, the moment you realize something’s wrong or has gone wrong, you’re already fighting that sunglasses battle. The sunglasses start to slowly open again, first with a lot of caution (which we get), but now you start to see, sometimes very faintly and from far away, the sun that’s really there…
And yes, the reason you started wearing those glasses, you now need to work on that.
How did they get there, why did you start misusing them (using them isn’t bad, misusing is), were there others who put those glasses on you, what caused those “glasses”?
Once you find the cause (tip: get professional help and feel free to give us a call), you can work toward healthy glasses—ones that tint the right way, fitting your real situation.
And yes, it takes time, it’s scary, getting help to free yourself from that dark vision is hard, looking in the mirror sometimes is hard too, gathering the right (new) people around you isn’t just “done in a snap,” we know that…
But now that you know what those sunglasses really are, now that you know the truth is different from what you thought you saw… you’re already starting to win.
I managed it (years ago), and if I can do it, you definitely can too.
Finally… what helped me a lot back then was this verse… Maybe it will help you too (or not, feel free).
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and turn away from evil. (Proverbs 3:5-7)
I didn’t understand a thing back then. I tried to rely on my own understanding (and failed… because of those glasses),
my “paths” were as twisted as a hoop, standing upright was nearly impossible and painful, I did things that were far from good, thought I was wise, but I was anything but that, I didn’t see God and stopped caring.
But when I realized that… it hurt… but also didn’t. Because that’s when I slowly started coming out of the darkness by doing what that verse says. Hard? Yes. Did it take a while? Yes. Did I get out that way?
Yes. Then “my paths” became straight again. I could walk again, and the evil went away.
Dear reader,
If you’re struggling right now with those sunglasses: that’s a good sign. You’re (even if you don’t feel it yet) already winning. This is an important moment, a turning point, and you’re already doing well!
And if you don’t wear those annoying sunglasses yourself, but you know someone who does… Give them a hug and help them take those glasses off. They’re usually not the sunniest people on earth, but that’s not true either.
Who you think you see, they’re not. You’re also looking at them (if you’re not careful) with false glasses.
Because inside… they could actually be the sunniest person you know. If you help them, with help from others, with God, to get those sunglasses off, they’re worth your time and energy.
“Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.” (Luke 6:38)
“Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the LORD, and He will repay them for their deed.” (Proverbs 19:17)
“Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.” (Matthew 25:40)
