Is Your Church a Cult? 7 Clear Characteristics You Should Know
In our work, we regularly encounter people who are victims of cults. M also has personal experience with this. The consequences can be terrible and often remain felt for years, even after someone has escaped a cult. That escape itself is already a difficult task and requires strength and God’s help, because the grip of a cult is often so strong that a person cannot simply walk away.
The problem is that a cult presents itself as something from God, when it is not. In reality, they misuse God, the Bible, and everything associated with them for their own power. This is precisely what makes it so complicated to get out, because the image of God is often destroyed, and He is exactly the one you need to become free from that kind of abuse. It is a mean trap, because it seems as if you are getting closer to God while you are in it, while in reality, you are trapped in a cult.
A bicycle has two wheels, but not everything with two wheels is a bicycle. Not every community that calls itself a church acts as the Bible intends. A cult uses the language of God and the Bible to bind people instead of liberating them. They call themselves a church or community but are anything but that. Paul warns:
“For if one comes and preaches another Jesus whom we have not preached, or you receive a different spirit which you have not received, or a different gospel which you have not accepted, you bear this beautifully.” (2 Corinthians 11:4)
Jesus also says:
“For many will come in My name, saying, ‘I am the Christ,’ and will mislead many.” (Matthew 24:5)
Below are M’s own experiences and also a number of examples from other victims he met there himself, supplemented with examples of cult victims we are currently encountering again in our therapy practice.
Characteristics of a Cult-like “Church”
1. Authoritarian Leadership without Accountability
In many cult-like groups, the pastor or a small group of leaders has almost absolute power. They decide over the lives of others and are above criticism.
Example:
Sanne came to faith and was enthusiastically received in a small congregation. Soon, the pastor said she should stop her studies because “God was calling her” for ministry. When she hesitated, she was accused of being disobedient to the Holy Spirit. Here, human power was presented as divine guidance. God leads His children through His Word and Spirit, not through human compulsion. In this case, you see the “pastor” indicating that “God called her.” But where does he get that from? If God calls someone to do something for Him, it is clear to all parties; no one needs to be persuaded, and there will be no hesitation. If a pastor is truly a shepherd, he will certainly not see that hesitation as “disobedience to the Holy Spirit,” let alone use it as a pry bar, but will reflect on whether his own motive was correct.
“Shepherd the flock of God among you, exercising oversight not under compulsion, but voluntarily, according to the will of God; and not for sordid gain, but with eagerness.” (1 Peter 5:2)
2. The Claim That They Alone Possess the Truth
Cult-like groups often say they are the only true church and that all other churches are paths of error leading to hell. This goes to the extreme.
Example:
Mark began to doubt something told from the pulpit that he could not find in the Bible. It was preached that anyone who did not go to this church would go straight to hell. When he asked questions about it, he received no answers but was told he was threatening the “unity of the congregation” and that criticism “hindered the working of the Spirit.” He was accused of being a rebel, told he should never contradict the pastor (the voice of God), and said to have a bad influence on the rest of the youth with his questions. Anyone who is not allowed to test a church against the Bible lives not under Christ, but under men. Mark was “lucky”; the congregation threw him out, and although he didn’t understand why or how, in the long run, it was his rescue from this cult. Someone who studies the Bible and checks whether what is said matches what is in the Bible deserves praise, not pressure or exclusion.
“Now these were more noble-minded than those in Thessalonica, for they received the word with great eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see whether these things were so.” (Acts 17:11)
3. Extra-Biblical Control and Coercion
Some cults control the lives of their members down to the smallest details. Examples include mandatory internet use via a church filter for both adults and children, which house you buy or sell, which school your children must attend, or requiring permission for relationships and marriage. If the leadership says “no,” the relationship must be ended, as if God commanded it.
Example:
Ellen was engaged, but her pastor said God did not want that relationship. When she asked why, she was told: “Because the Lord revealed it to me.” She broke off the relationship for fear of being disobedient. Ellen is still single to this day. This is spiritual manipulation. No one may speak on behalf of God outside of His Word. Killing a discussion with “God told me that you…” is a massive red flag.
“Thus says the Lord of hosts, ‘Do not listen to the words of the prophets who are prophesying to you. They are leading you into futility; they speak a vision of their own imagination, not from the mouth of the Lord.'” (Jeremiah 23:16)
“‘I did not send these prophets, but they ran. I did not speak to them, but they prophesied.'” (Jeremiah 23:21)
“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.” (2 Corinthians 3:17)
4. Isolation from Family and Friends & Closed Community
In many cult-like movements, keeping contact with people outside the group is discouraged. Family and old friends are called “worldly.”
Example:
Aurélie was told that her parents endangered her faith and that she should only associate with “brothers and sisters” within the congregation. Eventually, she became completely isolated. When someone else asked her questions about it, she had no answer as to why she was no longer allowed contact with her parents, except “that the minister had said so.” The person who asked her the questions was later labeled a rebel and expelled from the congregation. A church that replaces love with control is not of Christ.
“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you.” (Exodus 20:12)
Only people within the community belong to the “kingdom of light,” and everything outside falls under “the kingdom of darkness.” Under that banner, relationships outside the community are actively thwarted. You have no friendships or relationships outside the cult. This also means that if you escape a cult, you immediately lose all(!) the contacts you had. Everything. Because all your contacts were within the cult; outside of it, you had nothing, and now you have no one left. People still inside the cult are literally given a speech ban regarding you, because you are now also in “the kingdom of darkness.”
Usually, you don’t even know what the outside world looks like. TV, internet, and free access to news are quickly labeled “demonic influences” or “worldly.” Everything you hear first goes through the “church washing machine” before it reaches you. Forming your own view on something is therefore impossible. Asking questions about it is rebellious, and the reaction is often “burn in hell” if you do. Contacting someone outside your “church” to talk about things you have serious doubts about is completely out of the question. You supposedly have “all the freedom in the world” to make choices within a cult, but the cult is “your whole world.” There is nothing else. That is not freedom.
5. Financial and Practical Coercion and Dependencies
Some leaders use money as proof of faith. Those who do not give enough to the church would lose God’s blessing. Those who do not have enough have too little faith and are not true Christians.
Example of Financial Coercion:
Peter was publicly addressed for “sowing too little for the Lord.” He was forced to hand over a fixed percentage of his income. He didn’t have that money, but admitting that is not an option, because then he isn’t a true Christian. So Peter went into debt to give money to the church. Such a form of control is not voluntary offering, but spiritual abuse.
“Each one must do just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” (2 Corinthians 9:7)
You are only allowed to do “business” with someone from within the “church.” You buy your house from a real estate agent who is with the church, you buy your car from a congregation member, you buy your insurance from a congregation member, and you also take out your mortgage and loans with congregation members. You have no freedom in this. Children must also go to the church school. If you do “shop” outside the congregation, you have a problem. You are not just part of a congregation, but consequently also a (financial) slave of a congregation. You are bound hand and foot to them.
Example of Dependencies:
Peter and Elizabeth were in the congregation for years. They realized the congregation turned out to be a cult, but they didn’t dare leave. Their mortgage, loans, and the car dealership where they got their car are all managed by elders from that cult. Leaving has an immediate impact on their financial household, and they have seen other people deliberately financially ruined by those elders when they left. For their children, leaving has a huge impact because they are immediately expelled (bullied) from school and lose all their “friends” instantly. Peter works at a company where one of the elders is a manager. Eventually, they leave anyway, and what they feared came true. The children were immediately bullied out of school, (financial) contracts were terminated, and Peter’s job also ended.
“You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men.” (1 Corinthians 7:23)
6. The Leader is Above Criticism and Public Shaming, Violation of Confidentiality
A cult protects its leaders, even when they sin. Such an attitude hides sin and makes a leader untouchable, which goes directly against what the Bible says.
Example of Leader Above Criticism:
Jan and Marieke discovered that the pastor had an extramarital relationship with a congregation member. They were not the only ones who had found out. When they, along with a few other couples, raised this with an elder, they were told they “could not touch the Lord’s anointed.” They were all expelled from the congregation for “rebellion.”
“He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion.” (Proverbs 28:13)
Everything you say to someone within the congregation is passed on to the “elders,” and what reaches the “elders” is also discussed publicly in a sermon. You are held up as a negative example for others. You are publicly humiliated to “exalt” the “congregation.”
Example of Public Humiliation:
Marco was dating Monique. Marco was also a religion teacher at the school associated with the “church.” During their relationship, Monique became pregnant. They both voluntarily went to the pastor to say they wanted to marry, indicated they had not acted biblically, and voluntarily said what had happened. For their wedding service, all of Marco’s students were invited; they were brought in by the busload. The sermon was about sin, adultery, sex outside of marriage, and that the consequences would be hell. Marco never returned to that school. This is wrong in every way. Correction is intended for restoration and salvation, not for public humiliation or punishment.
“My brethren, if any among you strays from the truth and one turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.” (James 5:19–20)
If(!) corrective action must be taken (in this case it was not necessary, as they had already realized themselves that they had not acted biblically), there is a very clear order that was trampled upon in this example:
“If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.” (Matthew 18:15–17)
In this case, punishment was not necessary (they had already come to repentance), let alone being treated as a Gentile or tax collector. We haven’t even mentioned the abuse of authority and the massive breach of confidentiality.
7. You Must Participate in All Activities
You must(!) attend all services, meetings, gatherings, song services, and Bible studies. If you don’t come, you are a rebel. There is no form of voluntariness in this, and if you are a rebel, you go to hell. That threat is explicitly stated.
Example:
Henk had been coming to a “church” for a while but was not at the Bible study last Wednesday because he had been to a friend’s birthday (outside the church). Instead of saying “we missed you, too bad you weren’t there,” he was told that this “really wasn’t okay and he really had to be there next time so he would come ‘under the word,’ as the pastor had said.” Going to a birthday of someone who “lived in darkness” was not allowed anyway, and withdrawing from the community in that way had spiritual consequences.
That is incorrect. If you are truly a Christian, you naturally want to learn more about God. No pressure is needed; on the contrary. Bringing people to God through pressure does not work and is not biblical.
“One person regards one day above another, another regards every day alike. Each person must be fully convinced in his own mind. He who observes the day, observes it for the Lord, and he who eats, does so for the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who eats not, for the Lord he eats not, and gives thanks to God.” (Romans 14:5–6)
And we have many, many, many more examples from our own practice.
You notice in many of the examples that it sometimes seems biblical and protective, but it is anything but that when you look closely. What is in the Bible is twisted into another “truth,” and those distortions are sometimes very “cleverly” constructed. You also see in the examples that different types of abuse are frequently used in combination. Often it is not one type of abuse, but an accumulation where a different emphasis is placed per incident, but the bottom line is secretly the same. That is enormously confusing for someone inside. That chaos makes it even harder to get out.
It looks like a sheep, but if you look closely, it is a wolf. The problem you quickly see in these examples is that people are too inexperienced in who God really is and listen to the beautiful words and flattery of a wolf.
“For such men are slaves, not of our Lord Christ but of their own appetites; and by their smooth and flattering speech they deceive the hearts of the unsuspecting.” (Romans 16:18)
“Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves.” (Matthew 7:15)
Questions You Can Ask Yourself
If you are stuck or doubt whether you are in a healthy church, you can ask yourself these questions:
- Is the Bible explained purely and placed at the center?
- Am I allowed to ask questions without fear of correction or exclusion?
- Is the leadership accountable, or do they stand above criticism?
- Is Christ placed at the center, or does everything revolve around the organization?
- Is my personal freedom respected?
- Are relationships outside the church discouraged or controlled?
- Do I have to ask permission for relationships, marriage, or studies?
- Is money seen as proof of faith?
- Is there openness about the doctrine, finances, and decisions of the leadership?
How Can You Protect Yourself and Get Out?
- Read and study the Bible yourself. Let no one stand between you and God.
- Find a church where the Bible is the highest standard and where leadership is servant-hearted.
- Stay in contact with family and friends outside the community.
- Ask questions, investigate.
- Be alert to fear, coercion, or secrecy.
- Be prepared to leave if there is abuse of authority or if grace disappears.
- Seek spiritual guidance from reliable believers or a pastoral mentor outside the cult.
Closing Word
“Be on guard for yourselves and for all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood.” (Acts 20:28)
Again, Jesus Himself warns:
“Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves.” (Matthew 7:15)
Pay attention to the fruits: love, truth, humility, and grace. Fear, coercion, or human power are red flags. The Bible calls us to be watchful, not out of mistrust, but out of love for the truth. Only in Christ is true freedom, not in a system that uses His Name to rule over you.
Are you afraid that you might be trapped in a cult yourself? You are (unfortunately) not the only one struggling with this. Do not be ashamed and feel free to contact us. Anonymously is fine too. We can also talk to you about it from our own experience. Do not let a speech ban be imposed on you; in Christ you are free, so feel free to call/write to us. And what you tell us remains between you and us. Agreed.
And do you already have a speech ban from the church or perhaps even your partner regarding talking to others about it? Then you now know 100% for sure that you are in a cult. Go, leave, take action. Now. You already knew it; it has now been confirmed.
