Tenderness
Today in therapy, everyone works on a self-chosen theme. They have written this in the corner on their paper and an abstract drawing is made within that theme using oil pastel.
What they don’t know, however, is that after 10 minutes they have to pass their drawing on to the person sitting next to them, and they can work on someone else’s drawing for a certain period of time.
She has chosen ‘tenderness’ to work on and draws warm colors on her sheet of paper.
The moment I ask them to stop and pass on the drawing, they look at me in horror.
All kinds of thoughts fly through her head: What if the other person ruins my drawing, it is my inner world that I am drawing here, I can’t just give it away to someone else who will do something with it?!
And while she receives the drawing from the person next to her, more thoughts fly through her head. The word peace/world is written on the sheet of paper, and someone has started drawing their own world.
She hesitates, and it takes a moment before she picks up a piece of chalk and adds something to the drawing. Meanwhile, she chooses not to watch her own drawing being circulated and receiving additions. The more drawings that come along, the easier it becomes to add something to someone else’s drawing.
During the debriefing, she tells what happened inside her.
“I never realized how much influence I have on someone else and how much someone else can actually add to me.” She starts to explain this. “I always thought that I am very gentle and kind to others, and I am, but only to those who are far away from me. For the people in my family, I decide what they should do, I indicate what I want from them, what they should do and what they should not do. I’m not soft about that at all.”
“Because I received the drawing from someone else, I realized that the other person has their own world, literally, because the theme of the drawing was literally world! And that also applies to my husband. How often do I tell him what he should or shouldn’t do, but I don’t realize that he has his own inner world. And the same applies to my son…” “By now adding something to the drawing very consciously, empathetically and focused on the other person’s theme, I realize how unconsciously and not empathetically I do that in the lives of those close to me. Me. I am not as gentle and kind to them as I thought…”
Wow, what a wonderful insight!
And all this by working together on a drawing…
Art therapy at work!