Prayer request or gossip?

A while ago, I saw ‘in the news’ that Pastor X had ‘skated on thin ice’ and voluntarily went to the church council to confess his sin. No one had caught him in his wrongdoing; he himself knew that he had been at fault, took his responsibility, and did what James 5:16 states:

Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. A prayer of a righteous person, when it is brought about, can accomplish much. (James 5:16)

But then, in my opinion, something went terribly wrong: the entire story was posted online, everyone started to meddle in it, and everyone and everything had an opinion, many of which were not very ‘forgiving’ (on the contrary, many were more than heavily condemning). And worse… I then saw, day after day, online and in public, exactly what Matthew 7:1-6 warns us against:

Do not judge, so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and look, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye! (Matthew 7:1-6)

Let it be clear, there is nothing wrong with naming sin as sin (on the contrary), but when we misuse someone else’s sin to say: look at that sinner, I would never do that, stone him, expel him from the church, ban everything he has done, never speak to him again, etc., etc., that goes too far and is precisely what Matthew 7:1-6 is about in context.

And yes, the role he held as a pastor now ends, since he clearly no longer meets the clear standards as stated in 1 Timothy 3:1-7.

It is a trustworthy statement: if any man aspires to the office of overseer, it is a fine work he desires to do. An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, skillful in teaching, not overindulging in wine, not a bully, but gentle, not contentious, free from the love of money. He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity (but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?)^, and not a new convert, so that he will not become conceited and fall into condemnation incurred by the devil. And he must have a good reputation with those outside the church, so that he will not fall into disgrace and the snare of the devil. (1 Timothy 3:1-7)

As mentioned: he himself, as indicated in James 5:16, went to his own church council, confessed his sin there, asked for their help and prayer, and has no issue with not being a pastor anymore, because he also endorses 1 Timothy 3:1-7. But something strange happened in the outside world:

“Have you heard the big story about that enormous sinner who, as the Bible says, confessed his sins?!”, gossiping, throwing everything online with everyone and their opinions, and why?

Could it be that we are simply gossiping? (behind his back) Could it be that we are elevating ourselves by lowering him? For days on end, pages full?!

I wondered if everyone who so bluntly shared their opinions online also prayed for this man as much. Did they spend as much time on online gossip as they did praying for him as James 5:16 says? Wouldn’t it have been better if they had not only expressed their opinions online but also sent him a card of encouragement, letting him know they were thinking of him and praying for him? Their opinions were based on three lines of text that came online, and their opinions were MANY times more than three lines of text…

And taking it a step further: if you read all those messages and how people deal with someone who has taken this voluntary step to confess his sins, would you confess your sins to your brothers and sisters in the same way?

No Way, I certainly will not confess my sins to anyone! Before I know it, I will become the topic of conversation. People will no longer speak to me, everything will end up on the internet, everyone will have something to say about it, and it will turn into a public shaming event. So no, I will not adhere to what James 5:16 states. I have witnessed the consequences of such actions. Therefore, you know what? I will not do anything at all; I am not foolish. That would destroy everything I have, so I will keep it strictly between God and myself and say nothing.

From a human perspective, I know what I would do when I consider the conversations of the past few days! I would certainly keep my mouth shut. I can only pray: Lord, help me, be gracious to me, and grant me the strength to do what James 5:16 instructs me to do if necessary, and to deal with the gossip, the insults, and the exclusion that I witnessed when someone else was brave enough to voluntarily do what God asks of all of us.

The line between a prayer request (as James 5:16 advises us to do) and gossip, sensationalism, pointless discussions, and discouraging behavior is very, very, very thin. Are we better than the sinner? Or are we already judging unfairly, thereby making ourselves sinners as well? Do we encourage people to do what the Bible instructs, pray for them, help them resolve the damage they have caused, thank them for their honesty, or do we completely condemn them?

And what do we do ourselves when we make a mistake? Do we confess our sins to each other as this brother has done? Or do we refrain from doing so?

I rarely hear of anyone voluntarily taking such a step. Let alone turning away from their sin so clearly and not shying away from the consequences. Yes, the sin he committed cannot be justified; it is indeed a sin. However, this step of repentance, the request for prayer, and not avoiding the consequences is something we might take as an example…

And that brings me to the final point. Yes, the person in question is indeed no longer eligible for a leadership role in the church (read that verse again… because that verse applies to every leadership role in the church… oops..), but not every role in a church is a leadership role. This means that while that person can no longer work as a pastor, they can still serve as… can you name something? It’s something to think about. God does not discard you when you have made a mistake. He does provide clear rules for leadership roles in the church, but does that mean that a non-leadership role suddenly has no value? Or is that role now disqualified simply because they are a sinner? If that were true, there would be no one left to serve in a church tomorrow…

A bicycle has two wheels, but not everything with two wheels is a bicycle.