One problem solved, ten more added…

Suppose you have fled (as a woman with your children) from your country because there is a war. Your husband and your eldest son had to stay behind there because they had to serve their country in one form or another. It’s now more than two years later… what would your relationship with your husband be like? Still good? Really?

During corona, the term “skin hunger” (huidhonger) suddenly came up in the Netherlands:

The lack of loving touches and the desire for skin contact. This can range from friendly hugs, pats on the back, embraces and shaking hands, to kisses, caresses, intimacy and sex.

~sking huger / huidhonger.

So, yes, you now live in a safe country where no bombs fall (yet?). Your kids are safe too, so that problem is solved. And now what?

We are seeing the results of the attempts to satisfy that “skin hunger” increasing rapidly on this side of the globe… divorces are increasing rapidly, as are extramarital affairs. So yes, one problem is solved, but others arise.

And the children? Their daddy isn’t here, and that daddy was also the man of the house. The man in the house is not there, and mom now suddenly has to take on that role. In the cultures where our target groups come from, that is quite a thing… So the man in the family is suddenly no longer there, your mother now has to do that part of the upbringing, she has never done that before, and now suddenly your mother has a different man?

One problem solved, ten others added. The misery is far from over, but is just shifting…. you feel it grinding, screaming, tearing… you sometimes feel the hopelessness going through all your veins… every day.

I, I wish you could swim. Like the dolphins, like dolphins can swim. Though nothing, nothing will keep us together
We can beat them, for ever and ever. Oh we can be Heroes, just for one day.

I, I can remember. Standing, by the wall. And the guns, shot above our heads. And we kissed, as though nothing could fall. And the shame, was on the other side. Oh we can beat them, for ever and ever. Then we could be Heroes, just for one day

We’re nothing, and nothing will help us. Maybe we’re lying, then you better not stay. But we could be safer, just for one day.

It is heartbreaking to see.