In the dark

Today she finally managed to come to the therapy sessions, so by coincidence…
She had already registered for this 6 times, but always could just not make it.
We’re talking about the Kübler-Ross model of phases you go through in major events/changes. She gets emotional during the model’s explanation. She later tells us that she now understands why she can’t get rid of certain things from her past. Not only that, but she ignores them. This makes it seem as if they are not there, but they reappear every time…

The assignment is to draw the place where you are in your life using a landscape.

She draws a cave. There is a dark, fuzzy person in the cave with a flashlight. An orange light showing something of the cave…

She stands in the dark, can barely see what’s going on around her and doesn’t know where to go.
She ends the poem she writes with the sentence: “Darkness, what have I done to you that you won’t let go of me?”

She feels relieved. Finally the feeling is out of her, visible on paper. Inner tension gives way to tension. Has everything been resolved? No, but the denial is over and the acceptance has come that she is now here in a dark cave. This allows her to move on and take the next step.

Not easy.
Very strong and powerful.
And very beautiful and brave that she dares to look herself in the eye.