Evangelism: how does a conversation proceed?

Before we start a conversation, there is first “the washing machine” (see part 1) and once we have run it we really start a conversation.

We are very, very clear in our conversations, just as in the preparations for those conversations. The first thing I (M) usually try to start with is to say:

Don’t believe a word I’m about to tell you. (click for more explanation)

That might sound bizarre, but it is an extension of what we never try to say:

I think blah blah blah.

I feel that blah blah blah.

My opinion is that blah blah blah.

Because in all honesty, what I think, feel or what my opinion is, is not relevant. It’s about what God says. Clear, right? And to find out what God says, you take His Word and see what it says about something. What does the Bible say about sex, depression, faith, you, you name it. That seems scary, but it makes life so much easier. Suppose someone is doing really bad things and has relationships with women (or men) to whom they are not married. Let’s be honest, we all know that’s not good, but a few times a month we still encounter people who do know that, but would rather not know it. Then we can say that it is wrong, but does that still make an impression? I do not think so. So we give them a Bible verse like:

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20

And then we can also say, for example:

Well, perhaps as a human being I can think that something is allowed, but I think God is very clear what He thinks about that, right? Or do you think you can get around what God does say when you see Him?

And then we do not disapprove of them as people, but we leave that to God, who is VERY clear about it. That gives space between us as people for a conversation, and on the other hand, it leaves no room for discussion about whether something is right according to God. The conversation therefore continues, without human negative feelings between us and the other person, but the conversation between God and that person has also started. So we let God have the conversation in this way, and we don’t end up in the wrong “I think, I feel” that we don’t want to get bogged down in. Because that leads nowhere. In this way, we can easily prevent “the human blame games” and if God says it is not allowed, it will remain that way. If the Bible says A, it is A. No discussion about that.

We could also say the following:

Perhaps I would do the same thing you are doing now if I were in your shoes? I’m afraid I might do worse than you. Because honestly, I am only human, absolutely no better than you, on the contrary, and it is only God’s grace that I am not in those shoes you are in now, and have to make the difficult choices you are now facing. I just hope that, if I am at the same point as you are now, God will help me to make the right choice that God also supports. Because you can have a great discussion with me, and you can even win that discussion. But we never win an argument with God and let’s be honest… you don’t want to have an argument with Him either. Or..?

And that creates very good conversations, with a lot of space, where I do not place myself higher than the other person, do not judge the other person hypocritically (look at me being good), but it does make it clear that God is above me and us, and that we have to listen to Him. For God’s condemnation is more than clear.

Oh yes, E’s approach can be different in a conversation because E is not M and vice versa. The target groups we approach are also often different, so the above can work well for a conversation that M has with a specific target group, but a conversation that E has with a different target group may require an entirely different “approach route”. Everyone is given his/her gift by God, and we therefore look quite critically at whether the right gift is used in the right way, by the right person, for the right target group.

But whether M or E is at work, for both it does mean that we have to delve into the Bible a lot ourselves, to study it (and not just read it) to find the answers to the “most frequently asked questions / topics” from that Biblical perspective for our target groups for which we have been given the talents to work with. Fortunately, we don’t have to do all of that ourselves (because I’m not that smart) because, as Christians, we have all been given the following:

And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit,

Ephesians 1:13

When He (the promised Holy Spirit) comes, He will prove the world to be in the wrong about sin and righteousness and judgment: about sin, because people do not believe in Me; about righteousness, because I am going to the Father, where you can see Me no longer; and about judgment, because the prince of this world now stands condemned.

John 16:8-11

In other words, we also have that helper during those studies, and that helper helps us to understand what it says. Because otherwise we may have a lot of theoretical knowledge, but in practice you still can’t understand anything about it. That helper is therefore a “must” and, as is so beautiful in Ephesians 1:13, every Christian has it. This also provides peace of mind in complicated conversations. Because 99% of our conversations are certainly complicated from a human point of view. As humans, we would continually fail, but with God, those conversations really become different.

And then… then we’ve had a good conversation, and then… do we let them go or what happens? So next time we will talk about “aftercare” and that will be online within 2 weeks.

Ps. The above is just one example of how we can approach things on this side with the calling we have and with the gifts we have been given. Since E’s gifts are different from M’s gifts, the approach is sometimes also different. Let alone for you as a reader, you have been given different gifts and a different calling than us and so your approach will also have to match your own calling and gifts. With the above, we do try to get everyone thinking: how would I approach it, as efficiently as possible, with the calling and the gifts that I have been given by God? Not for my own honor and glory, but for God’s honor and glory for who you are working.